Brynna's Blog

Friday, October 7, 2011

It's just after 3:00 pm and I'm on hold with Social Security listening to lovely on-hold muszak on the speaker phone.  I'm waiting on hold to get my new Social Security 7 digit Permanent Passwork.  This is what I get for not signing on to their website within the period that my temporary password was valid.  I so do not like the paperwork that accompanies my health challenges that I put a few things aside to do all at once.  So, today I have successfully signed up for my new Medicaid for the Disabled Managed Care Program, CareSource, and registered for my new Medicaid on-line account user ID and password and now I just talked to a lovely social security gal who told me that contrary to the instructions on the piece of paper I have from them, I have to go online to request a new temporary password.  Ok then.  That will be another day as I have to ready for synagogue.  Tonight is Yom Kippur.

I have been in the midst of raising funds to save my home from foreclosure (see Brynna Fish Benevolent Fund) and later I will write about the various reactions.  Before I forget I want to share a phone call I got yesterday.  It was from Marilyn M and she was calling to tell me that she saw the story about me on the news about my house (see Brynna in the News) and she doesn't have any money but she wanted me to know that she is praying for me and knows that the lord is with me and that I will reach my goal to save my home for my mother and I.  She explained she doesn't use a computer and it look her a week to find my phone number because the "information" folks told her there are alot of Brynna Fish's in Cleveland and she wondered if I'm related to them!  Well, I believe I AM them!!!

Anyway, she told me that 17 years ago I saved her life.  She had been living with an abusive partner.  She came to my family program and I put her in a hotel for a few months then helped her find permanent housing.    She recalled with great detail the ways I helped her and she over and over again explained with deep heartfelt praise how I saved her life. 

I cannot see her face but I am sure I did what she described.  I asked if she could send me an email so I could have what she told me in her own words but she doesn't have or know how to use a computer so I am doing my best here to record what she shared with me because it has so touched my heart.

Marilyn, I wish  you all the best and I too am sending you love and prayers that your live continues to give you the blessings of your 17 year old daughter's joy and your abuse free live.

Thank you thank you thank you for doing more than sending me your prayers but for also investing your time and energy into finding my number and calling to tell me.  It was an honor to help you and I would do it again in a heartbeat.



   Saturday, November 20, 2010 2:00 ish PM

I watched this Coopers Hawk for about 30 minutes outside my studio window.  He/she had just left a dead pigeon under one of my bird feeders.  Maybe hawk was scouting for next prey.  Maybe hawk was waiting for me to leave so hawk could return to it's prey.  The next day I noticed scattered feather evidence that hawk had also visited my front feeder.  This time prey was a sparrow or warbler. 

Today, Tuesday, November 23, I turned to hawk in my Medicine Cards (Sams & Carson).


Messenger of the sky,

Circle my dreams and teach me,

The message as we fly."

As I listened to the message of Hawk I realized that I have been afraid to launch my "Brynna Fish Benevolent Fund" campaign.  My friend Merle has been gently nudgin me.  I have had the systems set up since mid summer.  Here it is on the cusp of Thanksgiving and Hawk visits with it's urgings.

I hear it calling.  I saw it pruning and preening, craining it's neck to be sure to observe every detail, turning it's neck around 180 to be sure to discern what is around to the left and to the right.  And as I watched I heard nothing, empty space.  So fixed was I on observing it, enjoying it's nuanced cleaning rituals much like I pleasure in watcing my cats do the same, so fixed was I that I only utlized my sense of vision and mind and ignored its call.

Today I thank Coopers Hawk for visiting my yard and welcome hawk to visit again and again.


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